(’85) – I figured, if Verdi can do it, so can I!


-Curtain up, light the lights,
Luisgoletto sings the aria,
“Dellamore mutto Leanna.”

-LeAnna appears on the balcony
& sings, “Nostra cosa,
con profundo amore.”

-Luisgoletto is about to climb
onto the balcony, when a large group
of peasants appears,
singing in a chorus
of a just completed task in the fields.

-From the group there emerges
who had sworn vengeance
against Luisgoletto,
for casting his eyes on LeAnna.

-In his aria “Per la sonavobicho,
questa scruyu! Misanthroponio accuses
Luisgoletto of being in league
with demons, poets
& other abhorrent creatures
and thus should be punished
in order to thwart the evil spirits.

-With tears in her eyes,
LeAnna begs Misanthroponio
not to provoke a fight,
but he proceeds to sing the aria,
“Up your culetto, Luisgoletto!”

-Luisgoletto is offended
& challenges Misanthroponio to a duel,
but can’t find a glove to slap him with,
so he sings the aria,
“Con la passione della alma,
I breaka your face!”

-The chorus intercedes & breaks up the fight,
then sings a rendition of
“Tutto mutto starvino, donde esta la pizza?

-Everyone laughs as the tension is broken,
Misanthroponio sings,
“Cominoutta della closet”
& declares his love for Handsominio,
an Adonis-looking boy in the crowd.

-Handsominio blushes & proceeds to sing,
“Graccia, petto no graccia,
tengo temore de STD.”

-The crescendo builds up
as Luisgoletto climbs onto the balcony
& embraces LeAnna…
a cart appears from stage right
bearing the sign “Domino Pizza” –
the cart is quickly surrounded…
everyone is in a happy mood
& join in a chorus of “Viva la pasta!”

-For the finale, the obese lady sings,
but almost chokes on a piece of pepperoni.


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