According to unassailable sources, who conducted and interpreted the calculations of two million state-of-the-art super computers,
planet Earth, as we know it, will cease to exist on June 21, 2014, at exactly 3:00 p.m., PST.

Earth’s demise will be followed by the failed planet being towed to the distant galaxy Sandrabullockia, where it will be placed in
eternal orbit.

For the above-mentioned reasons June 20 has been designated as “Universal Anything Goes Day.” It will also mark the debut and
world-wide live telecast of the Paul McCartney/John Williams opera “Dumb Planet!”

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