The Supreme Court,
by a rare unanimous vote,
has abolished Mondays.

Remarked Chief Justice Roberts
during an aside,
“The threat of Monday’s weekly routine
was unacceptable!
people will simply not stand by
and continue to be subjected
to Monday’s twin tyranny
of hangovers and morning quarterbacking!”

So it’s official:
from now on all of Monday’s duties
will be incorporated into Tuesday’s,
which will henceforth be known as

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