HOW TO LEVITATE
1 Believe you can do it.
2 Say, “I KNOW I can do it!”
3 Lie down on a bed, facing up. Turn your
‘Levitator Mark V” to the ‘ON’ position.
Say in a clear voice “The great Vashnikas
commands you to rise!”
4 If after trying you’re unable to
levitate, call our emergency hot-line
(1-800-HOT-LINE) – We’ll immediately
dispatch an experienced, professional
levitator to your residence. (be sure
there’s a window open enough for him
to levitate through.)
5 Thank you for choosing the “Mark V”,
the levitator that will lift your
body… and your spirits too!