LIFE, DEATH & RELATED ANOMALIES
Struggling author
Archibald S. Truggle
committed suicide this morning
by eating three chapters of his new novel,
” ‘S’ – AS IN STRYCHNINE”
His wife, former actress
Merla Bosom
told this reporter,
“He was depressed –
couldn’t come up with an ending.”
An eulogy will be read tomorrow
by fellow author Ronald Blabber,
at 9:01 a.m., near Window 3,
Hollywood unemployment office,
to be followed by a mass
meeting of creditors.
Archibald is best remembered
by those with good memory,
and the delivery boy at Greenblatz,
who remarked upon hearing the news…
“Sure I remember him!
pastrami on rye, with an extra pickle!”