The Supreme Court,
by a rare unanimous vote,
has abolished Mondays.

Remarked Chief Justice Roberts
during an aside,
-“The threat of Monday’s weekly routine
is unacceptable!
people will simply not stand by
and continue to be subjected
to Monday’s twin tyranny of
hangovers and morning quarterbacking!
it has proven to be a day disruptive
to peace and tranquility…
good riddance!”

So it’s official:
from now on all of Monday’s duties
will be incorporated into Tuesday’s,
which will henceforth be known as


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